What an apt description of Christ’s unspeakable horror and His resultant eternally-loving, triumphant victory over sin and death.

Jesus, how can we ever thank you enough?

All of us have times in our lives when we are hurting and need help. Therapist Mary Beth Woll, MA and psychiatrist Paul Meier, MD love helping people during those tough times and have devoted their careers to doing so. That’s why they wrote the book, Growing Stronger: 12 Guidelines Designed to Turn Your Darkest Hour into Your Greatest Victory. From this book, Growing Stronger Ministries, an outreach to churches and women in crises, has grown.

Although nobody wants it to happen, women suffering crises, trauma, and grief often fall through the cracks of the church structure. Sometimes church members don’t know how to reach out, and the church staff may feel overwhelmed at the needs of women in crisis. Growing Stronger Ministries offers training, structure, and support to develop intensive-care-type groups in the local church which provide a safe haven for women going through those hurtful times we all eventually encounter. While no one can totally escape the feelings of isolation which accompany suffering, participating in an ongoing, caring, healing group can go a long way toward easing that pain.

As a result of Growing Stronger Ministries, we pray that Growing Stronger Groups will spring up across the US and in other part of the world. This ministry has a very definite purpose and goal – to help women in the church provide healing support for other women experiencing crises so that they can recover and return to a life of effectiveness for God and even become30,60, and 100 times more fruitful than before! (Mark 4:20).

May God bless you as you follow Him through this very important journey!

Mary Beth Woll, MA, L.M.H.C.
Co-author, with Paul Meier, MD, of Growing Stronger
Founder of Growing Stronger Ministries

The Vision of Growing Stronger Ministries

Growing Stronger: 12 Guidelines Designed to Turn Your Darkest Hour into Your Greatest Victory

This is My Body which is Broken for You.
As we approach the Easter season, let us consider the words that Jesus spoke on the same night He knew He was going to be betrayed. The very Bread of Life broke bread with His disciples as He loved, fed, and served them all—including the one who would betray Him. When Jesus asked them to eat the bread which symbolized His broken body, He didn’t simply share a story or explain coming events; He took it a step further to illustrate the soon-coming crucifixion. This allowed the disciples to actively participate and literally digest His teaching.

Jesus didn’t give this particular instruction to the multitudes, but intimately experienced this event with His personally-chosen twelve disciples. As He broke and served the bread, He was—at that very moment—enacting the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy “ Even my close friend, someone I trusted, one who shared my bread, has turned against me” (Psalm 41:9). He knew that the imminent betrayal by Judas would initiate events leading to His sacrificial death for all of them—even the traitor.

Jesus’ words are doubly-precious to me, personally. I can still hear my father—my first and best pastor—reverently repeating Jesus’ words to each church member as he lovingly served communion to those of us kneeling together around the altar. Though Dad was a loving and expressive father, I never heard him speak more kindly, humbly, and tenderly than when serving the Body of Christ to the Body of Christ in this manner.

Later, as an adult, I realized that some in that very congregation would also soon “betray” Jesus (i.e., a board member who had a secret affair with a lady in the church). But in that holy moment, we gathered, as one Body, in solemn silence, as we remembered our Savior and His Body which was broken for us. Each one searched his or her own heart because we knew— without exception—we all needed the sacrifice of a Savior to wash away our sins.

This is My Body…
As Jesus and His disciples gathered around the Passover table, He was keenly aware that His body was about to be broken. This precious body, specifically chosen to express the image of God to the World He came to save, now neared the end of its earthly usefulness.

Jesus’ body had been deliberately designed by God. As Hebrews 10:5 says, “Therefore, when Christ came into the world He said, “Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but a body you prepared for me.” It was not a handsome or well-built body so that everyone—not just the beautiful people—could relate to Him. This divine/human body was born in a stable so that everyone—not just the rich people—could approach Him.

This body had enabled Him to preach the Good News to the poor, to touch and heal the sick, to free captives of all sorts, to open the eyes of the blind, and to feed the hungry. It had set the pace for rugged fishermen as they walked together for untold miles proclaiming that He, this unlikely Royalty, had come to bring the Kingdom of God to Earth.

Yes, this body had served Him well. It had been nurtured, fed, raised, and trained by His human parents, loved—and hated—by those He came to save, and followed by His disciples and the great multitudes.

Which is broken…
But one more thing was required of this precious body.

It needed to be broken.

Jesus knew what was coming. He didn’t run away. Though He wrestled mightily with His fully human-yet-somehow-fully-God nature during His prayer time in the Garden of Gethsemane, He defeated the temptation to yield to His human desires. After that, it was a done deal. He only had to walk it out with His Father.

For you.
For me? For them? For all of us? How on earth could the disciples understand how Jesus’ broken body could benefit them? They loved Him. They followed Him, constantly, for three years. He taught them. He fed them. How could His broken body—His death—be anything but devastating to them? How could they possibly understand?

They couldn’t.

They had walked with that body. They had seen the miracles. They had eaten the multiplied loaves and fishes from their 12 leftover baskets after He fed the 5,000. They believed that He was the Son of God. So even though they didn’t comprehend the significance of what was about to take place, if Jesus said to take and eat His broken Body, they would do just that.

Jesus doesn’t want His Body to be Broken Again
As the Body of Christ, Jesus is the Head, we are the Body. If we are not connected to Him, we will just not function well. If we are not connected to each other, we will be all out of joint! In Christ, the Body is not made up of one part, but of many (I Corinthians 12:14).

We cannot say, “I don’t need you!” because God, Himself, has placed every part in the Body, just as He wanted them to be (1 Cor. 12:18). If God has designed His Body “just so,” who are we to disagree? God even designed His Body in such a way that He gives greater honor to the parts that lack it, so that there should be no division in the Body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other (1 Cor. 12:24b-25).

We are so connected that, “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it”  (1 Cor. 12:26). There should be no fractures, divisions, or amputations in the Body of Christ.

This is one reason that we regularly take communion together. We’re His Body, now. He doesn’t want His Body to be broken anymore – spiritually, physically, or relationally.

By His stripes we are healed.
But what about those of us who Jesus loves and wants to reach but whose bodies are “broken”? Our bodies are not perfect because we live this world. But one day, we, like Jesus will have amazing, perfect bodies that can do
incredible things that we have not even imagined in this life on planet Earth.

Growing Stronger: 12 Guidelines Designed to Turn Your Darkest Hour into Your Greatest Victory

Growing Stronger is:

• A “Safety Net” ministry to women experiencing crises.

Growing Stronger is:
• A weekly, Intensive-Care Support Group ministry that meets in homes,
• Led by mature Christian women in the church who are
• Trained and supported by a professional therapist who:

* Leads the  Group once a month,
* Meets with the Leader once a month,
* Provides “on-call” support to the Leader
* Refers Participants who need:

~ Professional counseling and/or

~  Medication.

Growing Stronger is:
• Free to women experiencing crises,
• Sponsored by the church who
• Compensates the professional therapist for the equivalent of one therapy hour per month.

Growing Stronger is:
• A link between the church and professional Christian counseling and
• A support to church staff members who might otherwise be overwhelmed by intensive counseling needs in the church.

Growing Stronger:12 Guidelines Designed to Turn Your Darkest Hour into Your Greatest Victory

http://https://vimeo.com/17940818

>>>Tissue Alert<<<

The heart-rending story of Olympian, Derek Redmond, and his father means so much to me that I wrote about it in Chapter 8 of Growing Stronger, “Strengthen Yourself for the Race”.

I hope you enjoy this amazing video of that incredible event!

Growing Stronger:12 Guidelines Designed to Turn Your Darkest Hour into Your Greatest Victory

I am very excited to join Carrie Abbott, this Saturday at 11:35, on a panel discussing “Women’s Issues” at the NW Ministry Conference. We will tackle challenging subjects such as sex trafficking and other difficult issues encountered in ministering to women.

Following the panel discussion, I will also be signing books at the Legacy Institute Author’s Booth. The Growing Stronger book and ministry can uniquely equip churches and other ministries to receive women seeking help and healing from trauma of all kinds.

Follow these links to find out more about Growing Stronger, the NW Ministry Conference, and Carrie Abbott’s ministry with Legacy Institute.

http://www.growingstrongerministries.com

http://www.nwmincon.org/pastors/

The Vision of Growing Stronger Ministries is to provide training and support for leaders in the local church so that women can offer a place of refuge and healing for other women temporarily experiencing crises, trauma, depression, or grief so that they can recover and return to a life of fruitfulness.

Where to Turn?

Women experiencing crises, trauma, depression, or grief often feel isolated and don’t know where to turn for help. Although the church wants to be a refuge and members of the church want to minister to women in such need, we often don’t know how to help. Pastors and staff can become overwhelmed with the volume and intensity of the needs of their congregation, so the cycle of isolation and frustration continues.

Help is Available!

There are women in every church who have a calling from God to help others in crisis, but need training to fulfill that calling. Growing Stronger provides the information, structure, and support necessary for them to facilitate ongoing groups, providing a much-needed safety net to receive and help stabilize women in crisis.

Although Growing Stronger was founded by a licensed therapist, individual groups are not meant to provide counseling, but to supplement counseling and provide a setting where women in crisis can recover and grow in a safe, caring group.

Growing Stronger: 12 Guidelines Designed to Turn Your Darkest Hour into Your Greatest Victory

How to Find a Great Therapist

By Mary Beth Woll, MA, L.M.H.C

“Wait a second! Find a therapist?!? Do I need therapy? Do we really need it as a couple? With a little willpower, we could handle this on our own, right?”

The truth is, everybody needs counsel, at one time or another, from loved ones, trusted family and friends, pastors, mentors, and professionals. Taking this important step could save a person’s life or marriage and potentially change the course of many generations to come!

Before beginning the search for a therapist, it is good to clearly define the need.

• What are my symptoms?
• Is there an immediate threat to someone’s safety?
• Is there a desire to include spirituality in therapy?
• Will it be individual, marriage, or family therapy?
• Is there a need for a specialist in treating such cases as Bipolar Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and others?
• How will I pay for it? Can I use my insurance? (Currently, children are covered under their parent’s insurance until age 26, even if married.) Do they offer a sliding scale?
• Would a support group or peer counseling provide what I need or do I need a professional who specializes in my situation?

With all these questions, is it any wonder that many people never make it to the therapist’s door? There are good answers to all these questions, but even before answering them, there are often other roadblocks that need to be addressed, like how does one even know when it’s time to see a professional?

How can I determine if I need therapy?

Consider when a person catches a cold. If they are sensible, they will drink more fluids and get more rest. If the cold persists, they may take vitamins or over-the-counter cold remedies. If the cold develops into bronchitis or pneumonia, it’s time to see a doctor! In such cases, it would be unwise and potentially life-threatening, to continue to self-treat or self-medicate.

In the same way, it is important to recognize when emotional, behavioral, or soul needs are too much for one’s personal support system. That’s when it’s time to stop “white-knuckling it” and get professional help!

As a Christian, shouldn’t I just rely on my church and my faith instead of a counselor?

Sometimes a person’s faith background or the religious traditions they were brought up with can be a roadblock toward counseling. Many have been taught that if their faith is strong enough, they need not rely on outside counseling. Some wonder, “Is it even O.K. for a Christian to go to therapy? If I were a ‘better Christian,’ I wouldn’t need therapy, right? Shouldn’t I just read my Bible and pray more?” This kind of thinking can prolong a person’s pain and unnecessarily add to the shame they may already be experiencing. Especially if someone is dealing with past trauma or abuse, some kind of addiction, or any number of other mental health challenges, a trained counselor can be an incredible tool and ally. In these cases, telling them, “You don’t need counseling. Just become a better, stronger Christian,” or “Just read the Bible and pray more,” can condemn them to more years of symptoms, hiding, and unhealthy coping strategies instead of being helpful. In a loving community of faith, we really should be encouraging each other to seek out the help we need, and receiving help from a trained counselor is a wonderful and healthy avenue.

What about medication?

Sometimes, there is a very real and legitimate need for medication in treatment for depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder, among others. This must not be minimized any more than one would advise a diabetic not to take their insulin! Often people struggle with the idea of starting on medication, thinking that it makes them seem weak or even “crazy.” The reality is that the brain is an organ, like any other part of the body, which can become sick. In some cases, the brain is formed a little differently from birth and requires medical support.

Many Christians, and particularly those who have overcome drug addiction, struggle with medication issues, thinking that a “better Christian” would not need an antidepressant or mood stabilizer. This misconception can keep many people away from much needed treatment. Of course, it is true that God still heals, but apparently, He also chooses to use medicine and does not condemn us for it. Jesus confirmed this when He said in Matthew 9:12, “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick.” Praying for the sick is a vital ministry of the church, but it is just as dangerous for the church to advise against medicine as it would be for pastors and church members to line up and write out prescriptions for each other on Sunday mornings! This calls for a mental health professional.

Although therapists do not prescribe medicine, they can diagnose and refer for proper medical treatment, which is most effective in conjunction with therapy.

Is my past affecting my current life and relationships?

Some people experience childhood sexual abuse or other trauma that is terrifying or impossible for a child to understand. Memories of such horror don’t go away. They are so threatening that the mind protects the person by locking these memories away in the subconscious for years while they carry on with the business of growing up. Later, these memories can present as unexplained behavioral symptoms or big blank blocks of time in their childhood memories. When these symptoms begin to emerge in adult years, the person may need someone who can help them articulate and resolve what was previously unspeakable.

When they are ready to face the pain of the past, it is not safe or appropriate to talk to just anyone, although friends and family may play a part in the healing process. It is important that they seek out someone who is trained and skilled in such work; otherwise, it is possible for the unequipped helper to inflict more damage in the process.

How can counseling help my marriage and other relationships?

In addition to depression, anxiety, and posttraumatic symptoms, relationships or marriages may become so conflicted or distant that a third party’s perspective and input is needed. Such situations can be overwhelming to a couple’s support system of friends and family. Once again, professional help is in order. Seeking counseling, in such cases, is actually the responsible thing to do in order to continue to function well in the family and on the job.

What type of therapist is best for me?

Some of the confusion in finding a great therapist can be found in the titles alone.

• Psychiatrists will usually be identified as “Dr.” with “MD” following their name. These medical doctors specialize in the diagnosis and treatment of mental or psychiatric illnesses. They are trained in counseling, but typically use the client’s report of symptoms to prescribe appropriate medications and refer clients to therapists for counseling. While it is true that family practice doctors prescribe the overwhelming proportion of antidepressants in the United States, I prefer to recommend a psychiatrist when medication is needed, because, as specialists, they can often catch a subtle need that can make a big difference in prescribing the right medication.
• Psychologists (PhD or PsyD) have a doctoral degree in Psychology. They are specialists in various methods of therapy, as well as psychological testing. Psychologists do not prescribe medications but can refer to a psychiatrist, if necessary.
• Licensed Mental Health Counselors (LMHC, LCPC) have a Master’s Degree in Psychology, plus 3,000 hours of post-master’s experience in order to be licensed. They are therapists who can diagnose and treat a wide range of problems including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), sexual abuse, ADD/ADHD, grief, suicidal impulses, addiction, substance abuse, stress management, self-esteem issues, emotional health and family, parenting and marital issues. In addition to individuals, they can treat couples and families. They do not prescribe medications but can refer to a psychiatrist.
• Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists, (LMFT) are therapists with a Master’s Degree in Psychology and post-master’s experience (similar to the Licensed Mental Health Counselor) but with more specialized training in issues regarding marriage and family. They can also treat all the issues listed above.
• Licensed Social Workers (MSW, LCSW) also have a Master’s Degree in Social Work and post-master’s experience. They specialize in providing services to help their clients’ psychological and social functioning. Social workers can also treat the above therapy issues. In addition, they are specially trained to provide counseling and resources to help a person better function in their environment and relationships.
• Pastoral Counselors (Rev., M Div, Pastor) are usually licensed or ordained ministers who also have training in counseling. Their emphasis tends to focus on biblical principles, spiritual formation and direction, and improving relationships. It is important to note that, depending on how or where the Pastor was ordained, they may not have been required to have any training in counseling at all. It is dangerous to assume that just because someone is a Pastor, they are equipped to counsel you in areas of mental health.

(NOTE: States have similar licenses but may use different license names/initials and may have different requirements. For example, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) in the State of Washington is similar to a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) in the State of Illinois, but there may be some differences. Don’t hesitate to ask for clarification of the initials or degree of a professional when scheduling to see them.)

How can I determine I’ve found the right therapist for me?

In an effort to answer some of these concerns, I will share how I found my own therapist. Yes, therapists need therapists too! We all have injuries in life. The better healed I am, the better therapist I will be. Experiencing therapy also gives me empathy for my clients who are undergoing this process.

Here are the things that were important to me as I looked for a therapist:

• Covered – She was listed on my insurance plan.
• Competence – She went to a respected university and has a good work history.
• Conviction – There are certain moral principles which are non-negotiable for me. I didn’t want to wrestle with these issues during therapy, but needed someone who shared this baseline with me so they would be better able to advise me. Since my faith informs my decisions, choosing a therapist who was also a Christian was THE most important aspect for me.
• Compassion – I found that she is a very caring individual. This is also critical for me. If I felt that the therapist didn’t really care, I would go elsewhere.
• Connection – She and I “hit it off.” This makes therapy so much more pleasant.
• Consistency – She is dependable and reliable. I know what to expect when I go to therapy.
• Convenience – Her office is within about a half hour commute. I was willing to travel this distance for a great therapist.

Finding a great therapist has been a huge benefit in my own life. Hopefully, these thoughts will also help you navigate the maze of finding a therapist who is a good fit for you. As a counselor, I know that I have the opportunity to change lives daily! Sometimes, like braces, it is slow and incremental. Other times, like heart surgery, it is critical and immediate. Still for others it is like physical therapy – just plain hard work, long-term, and endurance-building.

It takes courage to begin the counseling process. Often, we will experience resistance from within ourselves and from others. This is normal and to be expected. But the rewards are well worth the risk as these life changes can be deep, permanent, and enriching not only for you, but for your loved ones and your marriage. And even one changed life can change the course of events for generations yet to come!

http://staymarriedblog.com/how-to-find-a-great-therapist/

http://athenadeanholtz.com/helping-women-in-crisis/

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs125/1101561083712/archive/1114672711363.html

Growing Stronger:12 Guidelines Designed to Turn Your Darkest Hour into Your Greatest Victory